5 Coping Strategies When Starting the Divorce Process:

 Posted on March 01, 2019 in Divorce

The Ramage Law Group has 27+ years of experience in helping families in the McKinney, Frisco, Plano, Allen, and surround areas specifically in Family Law and Divorce. We have found that although some coping strategies are great in theory, they do not always work effectively in practice.

We conduct client feedback throughout the entire divorce process as we understand how difficult this process can be while filled with such uncertainty and often agony that we have created 5 Coping Strategies that seem to work based off the feedback from our clients. Please feel free to try these yourself or perhaps share with a loved one who is going through the very process.

1. Rumination – STOP THE LOOP IN YOUR HEAD by simply addressing it head on. Imagining the worst possible outcome and all that it implies actually stops the ruminating (usually coupled with discussions with a therapist) as now it becomes something we can tackle and deal with. Rumination is the repetitive and intrusive thoughts that the brain unconsciously searches for and results in that endless loop of rumination that preoccupies us during times of stress, sapping our emotional and cognitive energy.
2. Managing Negative Emotions – TURN DOWN THE VOLUME OR SWITCH THE CHANNEL. Choose to focus on WHY you feel the way you do and not WHAT you are feeling. When you focus on the WHY it allows for a “cool” processing while when you focus on the WHAT it yields a “hot” processing and can open the door to even more rumination.
3. Staying Balanced: Savoring. – DO THE UNCOMMON AND SAVOR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. Generally speaking, things that make us happy, stop making us happy after some time (it is called “hedonic adaptation” or “the hedonic treadmill”). We are made happier by things that aren't commonplace. So yes, eating chocolate now and again as a treat will make you happier than it will when it is an everyday thing.
4. Looking to the Future: Abstract Thinking – THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT IN ABSTRACT TERMS OPENS UP MORE POSSIBILITIES FOR ACTION than thinking concretely. During divorce, clients typically are very focused on simply getting through it than thinking about where they want to be next. So, if you miss companionship and sharing, instead of thinking concretely about an individual who might give you that (and how you might meet him or her), you think about companionship and sharing in abstract. This makes you realize that a sense of companionship can come from many situations (lunch with a friend, movie date, happy hour, etc.).
5. Making Sense of the Experience: WRITING… OR MAYBE NOT… as sometimes going back and writing what emotions you may be experiencing during the divorce process may actually lead to more rumination. Some have found it beneficial to write in a stream of consciousness style focusing on their deepest emotions or in first or third person, exploring the breakdown of the marriage as a turning point in their lives and what they have learned from it. You may need to determine if this helps you or not.

At The Ramage Law Group, you are more than just a case to us. You are a client and a member of the family. We believe in making sure we leave you in a much better place than when you first came to us, and we will not stop until we get there. And we will get there!