5 signs that divorce may be a step in the right direction this year

 Posted on January 01, 2022 in Divorce

Many people see January as a month of renewal, and divorce filings typically tick upward after the holiday season. For Texas couples considering a divorce, it's usually not a snap decision but rather the culmination of months or even years of unhappiness and conflict.

Some spouses stay together for the sake of their children. Others stay for financial, societal pressures or other reasons long after the closeness they once experienced ceases to exist. Here are five common reasons you may wish to seek a divorce and get a fresh start this year.

You and your spouse work against each other

Resentment and anger can linger for years when spouses don’t see eye-to-eye on major or minor issues and have the same arguments over and over without resolution. This often leads to conscious or unconscious polarization, where each party demonizes the other to anyone else who will listen.

You no longer communicate your needs or feelings

Feeling unsupported by your spouse can be devastating. Healthy relationships require good communication. But unhealthy marriages are often characterized by conflict and silence, where couples no longer constructively share their thoughts. This often leads to bitterness.

You no longer spend time together

Resentment and unresolved conflicts force many spouses to stop talking to each other or socialize as a couple. You may avoid discussing or pursuing shared interests as any interaction can be painful. Once you reach that stage, any hope of reconnecting is challenging.

You believe solutions only exist outside the marriage

Some spouses believe they must move on with someone else to be happy. Others may have emotionally “checked out” of the marriage long ago, while some turn to vices, such as alcohol, drugs, gambling, food or excess spending. But these diversions don’t make the pain go away.

You don’t seek or want to seek outside help

Marriage counseling can be an essential tool for high-conflict couples who remain committed despite their differences. However, it may be too late if your relationship has reached the “crisis” stage and you don’t believe professional help will do any good.

Avoid the “things will get better when…” trap

Many people put off divorce talk believing that their marriage will improve in time, but they keep having the same arguments, behavior and results. If you’ve reached this point, it's essential to be honest, and try to be unemotional about your true feelings for your spouse. Divorce can be a positive step in helping you reclaim control of your life and approach the future from a position of strength and hopefulness.