How to help children celebrate Mother's Day after a divorce

 Posted on May 01, 2021 in Divorce

A divorce changes all family dynamics. What once seemed easy can become fraught with difficulty, extra planning and second-guessing. This includes scheduling holidays like Mother's Day.

For moms, Mother's Day can be an exceptionally emotional event during or after a divorce. But both parents should understand it can be just as challenging for their kids.

Preparation is key when planning for holidays

When children live in two separate households, you and your ex (with the help of your lawyer) can accomplish much of the heavy lifting regarding where the kids will spend holidays and birthdays. When you are putting the details together for your Texas parenting plan, remember:

• Your kids didn’t create the situation.
• Divorce is difficult for both younger and older children.
• Kids want what's best for both parents.
• Your children are still trying to figure out this arrangement.

Arranging dates with the kids will be considerably smoother if both parents are on the same page. For example, kids should be encouraged to spend Mother's Day with their mom and Father's Day with their dad. The same is true for the parents’ birthdays, especially when kids are younger.

Create new traditions and be flexible

One of the casualties of divorce is that some family traditions will come to an end. As kids get older and develop lives of their own, it's important to honor their decisions when they decide not to spend specific holidays with mom or dad.

For many, FaceTime and other video-conferencing apps offer a way for kids to honor their mothers in real time. Plus, no law says Mother's Day has to be celebrated on a specific date. You may need to choose a day that works better for everyone.

Above all, avoid using guilt as a motivator, as that can quickly become a slippery slope. Instead, encourage flexibility and resilience as a way to cope with challenging situations. Those qualities will not only help them deal with their present circumstances but develop life-long skills they can pass along to your grandchildren.